Part of the job requires reviewing PRs. I always go out of my way to be supportive and helpful when writing these reviews.

But after a recent, particularly challenging review I wondered what it would be like to go the other direction: Condescending, dismissive, arrogant, and so on (I strongly advise against this!).

Who better to write such a review than the condescening, dismissive and arrogant character Q, from Star Trek: The Next Generation?

So here you go:

Pull Request Review — As Delivered by Q

Well now… what have we here?

A humble utility function, attempting to transcend its station. Admirable. Misguided—but admirable.

@contributor, your enthusiasm has not gone unnoticed. In fact, it has been observed across multiple dimensions. Effort such as yours is… quaintly human. And appreciated.

However—let us not confuse effort with precision.

You see, this function was never destined to be a guardian of security, a sentinel against malware, or a judge of file integrity across the cosmos. No… its purpose is far simpler. Elegantly so.

And yet, in this incarnation, it has… evolved beyond its design.

Let us examine the transgressions:

  • This function, originally a modest helper, now dares to replicate validation logic already performed elsewhere—specifically within the serializers’ validate() methods. Redundancy is not evolution; it is inefficiency.
  • It attempts to guard against threats—malware, decompression bombs—concerns now handled by a far more capable entity: the filescan service. You are solving problems that have already been… solved.
  • It introduces checks—file size, format allowlists—that belong higher in the application’s hierarchy. Not here. Not in this function.

In short: this function has lost its way.

As for the failed pipeline checks… how unfortunate. The logs have vanished into the void. Even I cannot retrieve what no longer exists. You will simply have to try again.

Conclusion

Strip away the excess. Refactor with purpose. Embrace simplicity.

Make this function what it was always meant to be:

A precise, focused instrument—nothing more, nothing less.

Now then… shall we see if humanity can manage that?